Tuesday, January 7, 2014

A FUNNY FOR THE DAY

Aging Gracefully
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker
came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
"How old was your husband?" "98," she replied.
"Two years older than me"
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it? 
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation;
hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker. 


These days about half the stuff
in my shopping cart says,
"For fast relief."


THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.

Always Remember This:
You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing.


So cold here in sunny Florida, Everyone, stay warm, safe and enjoy your day.

BarbaraD
xoxo 

5 comments:

Cheryl @ TFD said...

Funny post! Take care and stay warm.

Crafy Lady said...

Thanks for stopping in, Love your blog, hope you stop be again.
Barbara

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

This gave me such chuckles! I have to forward this to Howard's computer. He'll get a kick out of it. The only problem is ..we are so close now to the ages mentioned. Another thing is that making plans seems so pointless..and when I start to plant a tree I stop and think, why should I do this..I will never see it mature. :):) I wonder if drinking more coffee would help.

Blogging can get tedious sometimes..and I just get plain worn out by the end of the day.
It's nice to see your name up there when I check my post. Thank you so much for keeping tabs on me. Heaven only knows, I need it!
Big hugs to you my dear friend!
Mona

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

These were some funnies my friend...we might as well laugh, right? Hope it warms up like they say it will! It's cloudy and cool again today! Where's our beautiful sunshine? Take care!

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Are you alright? I hope you are not ill? I can't write to you because I don't have your email address. Mine is Wsprsweetly@aol.com. I hope you get this note and know I am thinking of you.